What do you think of me, iTunes? "Do You Really Want to Know?" Theme from the X-Files. Maybe I don't want to know.

Will I have a happy life? Haydn's Symphony No. 8 "Le Soir" Mvt. 2 Andante- So I'll be happy only in the evenings when I take things slowly.

What do my friends really think of me? "Paddy Rainey's Johnny Leary's and Winnie Hayes;" by Danu, A set of Irish jigs...hmmm they think I'm Irish? They think I belong to many men at the same time?

Do people secretly lust after me? Haydn's Symphony No. 6 "Le Matin" Mvt. 4 Allegro - They lust after me in the afternoon. And then I find out that they lust after me and happily contemplate that all evening

How can I make myself happy? "Wouldn't It Be Loverly?" from My Fair Lady. By sitting in an enormous chair, eating chocolates, and having a great rich guy to pamper me- I entirely agree.

What should I do with my life? ":Miss Maule's / Alta's Reel / The Five Of Diamonds / The Pilltown Road" by Cherish the Ladies. Another Irish Set - become an Irish musician who plays lots of cards.

Why must life be so full of pain? "Language or the Kiss" by Indigo Girls. Great response, iTunes. Because we must make difficult choices. Because we feel isolated. Because people leave us out.

Will I ever have children? "Doin' Fine" by Jewel. I shouldn't have children yet - instead I should enjoy being young and full of life.

Will I die happy? "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" by U2. So I will climb the highest mountain, run through the fields, crawl, scale the city walls, and still not find what I'm looking for? Depressing.

Can you give me some advice? "All I Ask of You" from Phantom of the Opera. Find someone to share "one love, one lifetime." Ok, iTunes - good, solid, practical advice.

Do you know where your children are? "Pride (In the Name of Love)" by U2. Just confusing. Maybe iTunes is having trouble because I don't have children.

What do you think happiness is? "Not the Same After That" by Ben Folds. Ummm, having a conversion and spreading the word of God? Damn it, even my mp3 player is trying to convert me.

What's your favorite fetish? "The Dementors Converge" from Harry Potter and the Prison of Azkaban. This could be interpreted two ways- I have a fetish for soul-sucking kisses or for really good orchestral music. Let's hope it's the latter.